Ok, I probably don't suck.

sorry I vanished there for a bit. Was having such fun at my pity party. ;)

But all is well, and finally the lines of communication are somewhat open between myself and my instructor...well as much as two fairly shy people can be anyway.

So yeah, the deal. I was freaking out because I have enough time for a ride, but no one was talking about it. I did send him a long ass ridiculous email (which I regretted the moment I hit send of course...LOL), but luck was on my side, and for some reason it was bounced back to me and he never had to read it. whew! I told his wife about it, she laughed and said I was crazy. LOL

I finally had a minute to talk to him about things. funny how you (me) can be so far off on some things. I'm such a tool sometimes.

First of all, since the gov is paying for me to do 120 hours, he said it didn't really make sense to rush to the ride on min hours. And I guess I agree. He said I'd pass now anyway, but why not just keep on cruising. Then he said..."so you have what, like 80 hours now?" to which I responded..."uhm no, about 60"

"well, then you are doing even better than I thought!!!" he said.

hahah.

So I was asking if he thought I'd go out and kill myself doing something stupid once I left the safety of flight school. and he told me that yes, he does have that feeling about some pilots he trains, and usually he's right. But he does NOT have that feeling about me. at all. So another plus.

Of course shortly after this I wanted to do a diversion review in the 22, and the instructor (not my usual) gave me a forced approach from under 500' and I totally and completely fucked it up so fucking bad. It was horrible, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Plus, I was a bit ticked off. I haven't even done an auto in that thing since July, let alone a forced in the bush off the tree tops. And we did not talk about it prior. I was really worried about my map reading (which was silly also...god I'm ridiculous sometimes) so that was my focus. (and yes, I know always be prepared, I get that. And alone I am always looking for landing spots all the time. I know, I know. No excuse.) Being in the clouds and having my hand held by controllers in the IFR world for so many years really did erode my map reading skills. Especially down low.

So I had that disaster, and attempted to pick myself up and get back at it.

and then the weather decided to be so utterly crappy for the past 2 weeks that I have flown 3 times. But I did get in almost 2 hours today, and in the jetranger, so that's awesome.

First .9 was auto's. Straight in from 500', then 180's from 500'...and then it got fun. 180's from 300'. Omg. How fun was that????? and I did awesome, if I may say so myself. :D

then I just bombed around for another .9 doing confined's and stuff. Now it's the long weekend, so I will be back tuesday.

so yeah. I'm happy again. I feel like I can do this.

Now I just have to get done...please weather, can you just finish your transition phase and settle down?