So the weather has sucked. for weeks. Last week there was not a single day that I could go flying. Maybe in my former job I could have, no problem. But not now.
Haven't flown in over a week and a half.
Oh, and the flight school I was going to renew my MIFR with has gone out of business. Go figure.
Planning on maybe heading south to have a friend of mine do it. Would be much more relaxing anyway. Would make my mother happy, I very rarely ever get home...it's just not the same since Dad died.
So yeah, whole lot of nothing atm. Hopefully I can fly tomorrow. Then maybe next week get that IFR out of the way. that sure would be nice.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Airplane day.
Tomorrow I will hopefully be flying a twin comanche doing a bit of training before renewing my instrument rating.
I haven't flown a plane, or ifr in quite some time.
Hopefully I remember lots. :)
I haven't flown a plane, or ifr in quite some time.
Hopefully I remember lots. :)
Friday, October 9, 2009
Ok, I probably don't suck.
sorry I vanished there for a bit. Was having such fun at my pity party. ;)
But all is well, and finally the lines of communication are somewhat open between myself and my instructor...well as much as two fairly shy people can be anyway.
So yeah, the deal. I was freaking out because I have enough time for a ride, but no one was talking about it. I did send him a long ass ridiculous email (which I regretted the moment I hit send of course...LOL), but luck was on my side, and for some reason it was bounced back to me and he never had to read it. whew! I told his wife about it, she laughed and said I was crazy. LOL
I finally had a minute to talk to him about things. funny how you (me) can be so far off on some things. I'm such a tool sometimes.
First of all, since the gov is paying for me to do 120 hours, he said it didn't really make sense to rush to the ride on min hours. And I guess I agree. He said I'd pass now anyway, but why not just keep on cruising. Then he said..."so you have what, like 80 hours now?" to which I responded..."uhm no, about 60"
"well, then you are doing even better than I thought!!!" he said.
hahah.
So I was asking if he thought I'd go out and kill myself doing something stupid once I left the safety of flight school. and he told me that yes, he does have that feeling about some pilots he trains, and usually he's right. But he does NOT have that feeling about me. at all. So another plus.
Of course shortly after this I wanted to do a diversion review in the 22, and the instructor (not my usual) gave me a forced approach from under 500' and I totally and completely fucked it up so fucking bad. It was horrible, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Plus, I was a bit ticked off. I haven't even done an auto in that thing since July, let alone a forced in the bush off the tree tops. And we did not talk about it prior. I was really worried about my map reading (which was silly also...god I'm ridiculous sometimes) so that was my focus. (and yes, I know always be prepared, I get that. And alone I am always looking for landing spots all the time. I know, I know. No excuse.) Being in the clouds and having my hand held by controllers in the IFR world for so many years really did erode my map reading skills. Especially down low.
So I had that disaster, and attempted to pick myself up and get back at it.
and then the weather decided to be so utterly crappy for the past 2 weeks that I have flown 3 times. But I did get in almost 2 hours today, and in the jetranger, so that's awesome.
First .9 was auto's. Straight in from 500', then 180's from 500'...and then it got fun. 180's from 300'. Omg. How fun was that????? and I did awesome, if I may say so myself. :D
then I just bombed around for another .9 doing confined's and stuff. Now it's the long weekend, so I will be back tuesday.
so yeah. I'm happy again. I feel like I can do this.
Now I just have to get done...please weather, can you just finish your transition phase and settle down?
But all is well, and finally the lines of communication are somewhat open between myself and my instructor...well as much as two fairly shy people can be anyway.
So yeah, the deal. I was freaking out because I have enough time for a ride, but no one was talking about it. I did send him a long ass ridiculous email (which I regretted the moment I hit send of course...LOL), but luck was on my side, and for some reason it was bounced back to me and he never had to read it. whew! I told his wife about it, she laughed and said I was crazy. LOL
I finally had a minute to talk to him about things. funny how you (me) can be so far off on some things. I'm such a tool sometimes.
First of all, since the gov is paying for me to do 120 hours, he said it didn't really make sense to rush to the ride on min hours. And I guess I agree. He said I'd pass now anyway, but why not just keep on cruising. Then he said..."so you have what, like 80 hours now?" to which I responded..."uhm no, about 60"
"well, then you are doing even better than I thought!!!" he said.
hahah.
So I was asking if he thought I'd go out and kill myself doing something stupid once I left the safety of flight school. and he told me that yes, he does have that feeling about some pilots he trains, and usually he's right. But he does NOT have that feeling about me. at all. So another plus.
Of course shortly after this I wanted to do a diversion review in the 22, and the instructor (not my usual) gave me a forced approach from under 500' and I totally and completely fucked it up so fucking bad. It was horrible, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
Plus, I was a bit ticked off. I haven't even done an auto in that thing since July, let alone a forced in the bush off the tree tops. And we did not talk about it prior. I was really worried about my map reading (which was silly also...god I'm ridiculous sometimes) so that was my focus. (and yes, I know always be prepared, I get that. And alone I am always looking for landing spots all the time. I know, I know. No excuse.) Being in the clouds and having my hand held by controllers in the IFR world for so many years really did erode my map reading skills. Especially down low.
So I had that disaster, and attempted to pick myself up and get back at it.
and then the weather decided to be so utterly crappy for the past 2 weeks that I have flown 3 times. But I did get in almost 2 hours today, and in the jetranger, so that's awesome.
First .9 was auto's. Straight in from 500', then 180's from 500'...and then it got fun. 180's from 300'. Omg. How fun was that????? and I did awesome, if I may say so myself. :D
then I just bombed around for another .9 doing confined's and stuff. Now it's the long weekend, so I will be back tuesday.
so yeah. I'm happy again. I feel like I can do this.
Now I just have to get done...please weather, can you just finish your transition phase and settle down?
Thursday, September 24, 2009
I suck.
which is why I haven't even bothered to post about how much I fucking suck at this.
possibly a close to flight test freakout, but I just don't know. again, the siren song of airplanes calls to me..."it's easy...come baaaaaaack". but I am not a quitter.
I just wish I was a better helicopter pilot. *sigh*
back on the R22 for a bit, the 206 is away working, and since I have taken so much time off healing my stupid hand (which is pretty much all better btw, at least one thing is going ok atm...LOL) I figure I need some work.
but holy hell, is that thing ever hard solo. Even my instructor thinks so...heh. so I'm not alone there.
I guess I'll just take it as a compliment that I was sent solo in it after not flying it since the beginning of Aug, and without nary a check from the instructor.
I just wish I could have all the knowledge I had about airplanes about helicopters. But alas, I have about 4940 more hours before that happens. If I ever get that far.
saw the medivac chopper today. It just made me sad because all I could think of is how I will never, ever be good enough to do that. ugh.
ok, off to attempt to think happy thoughts.
I'll have more to say later. ;) Cause I always do.
possibly a close to flight test freakout, but I just don't know. again, the siren song of airplanes calls to me..."it's easy...come baaaaaaack". but I am not a quitter.
I just wish I was a better helicopter pilot. *sigh*
back on the R22 for a bit, the 206 is away working, and since I have taken so much time off healing my stupid hand (which is pretty much all better btw, at least one thing is going ok atm...LOL) I figure I need some work.
but holy hell, is that thing ever hard solo. Even my instructor thinks so...heh. so I'm not alone there.
I guess I'll just take it as a compliment that I was sent solo in it after not flying it since the beginning of Aug, and without nary a check from the instructor.
I just wish I could have all the knowledge I had about airplanes about helicopters. But alas, I have about 4940 more hours before that happens. If I ever get that far.
saw the medivac chopper today. It just made me sad because all I could think of is how I will never, ever be good enough to do that. ugh.
ok, off to attempt to think happy thoughts.
I'll have more to say later. ;) Cause I always do.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
more confined practice.
So Tuesday and yesterday I flew 1.5 per day. All confined area work.
Apparently I'm good at recon, and now my instructor had decided that it was time for me to make decisions in the bush.
So he was not going to tell me where to put down. At all. Let me figure it out for myself. Oh boy!
Day one wasn't so hot. I wasn't using my brain effectively and because of that I was just not able to see where I should be going. Well, I mean I know. Look for a flat type spot, try to hang your tail over water to avoid obstacles, have something in front of you to reference so the tall blowing swamp grass doesn't fuck with your head. Which it is want to do. Funny, you can tell the instant your eye wanders. From a stable low hover to landing to some sort of wobbling beast. So yeah, I do know how extremely important it is to have a tree or rock or anything there to focus on.
Day two was much better. I picked all my spots, and actually picked good ones. And I even showed some decision making when I was eying a spot for a little while, and then decided it was above my comfort level. And I'm glad I thought that, because he did too! So I meandered over to another spot next to the swamp and put down there. Much better. And seriously, these areas were small! My turn about the tail practice helped...cause that was all I could do in there. (mind you, not aggressive for his liking...but damn, I honestly do get a bit nervous in there) Find a safe place to put my tail, and keep it there until I found a place that looked like it would be sufficient to put down.
But holy shit, he had me in some tight places. The ones I have shown pictures of were probably 3 times the size. I'm not kidding. Barely enough room to turn around in there. Jebus.
And of course the whole time he is saying to me..."now this is the kind of place a 10 000 hour pilot would be working in."
Ok, so does that mean I'm doing ok then? Or is that just trying to make me feel better for sucking?
Because once again, I am left feeling slightly unsure about my progress.
Yesterday's debriefing went like this.
Him: So, what do you think?"
Me: Uhm..I had fun?
Him: So yeah, well I would not let you go into those places alone for sure.
Me: Uhm....(internal monologue: I suck! I fucking knew it!!!)
Him: but those other ones, the bigger ones, yeah, I'd probably send you in there alone with customers.
Me: (in my mind..."ok, maybe that's good?")
Him: so you were a little to close to some trees on that one approach.
Me: Yeah, I totally was aware of that, and you are right. (don't you hate it when you are in the process of correcting something, and they call you on it as you are about to fix it...so you can't really say "I was doing that!" cause well, you were just 'about' to....and I hate making excuses for myself anyway...but fuuuuuuuuuuck...LOL)
Him: but you picked some good spots, with the exception of that island you chose. (in one swamp there was this awesomely flat tiny bit of raised land, so I put down there...not thinking about any pax I'd have to let out...hehehe. That's a good thing to learn now, and not on the job. ;) )
Me: Yeah.....I totally get that...
Him: So yeah, great job!
So I guess good job then?
Mr. Dagny was trying to tell me that if I sucked then instructor man sure as shit would not have me going into those postage stamp sized areas. And yes, I suppose that is probably true. He also asked if I was getting control taken away from me...which he knows is not true. His logic is that if that was happening, that would mean I suck...and yes, that's true.
So after that, I decided I needed to shoot some ILS approaches on the sim for relaxation.
And yes, it did relax me. :D
My scan lives!! It really does. No problems at all. What a relief. Now if I can just get that MIFR ride out of the damn way.
Oh, and my hand, while not perfect is much better. Also, I noticed that even in tiny confined areas my death grip has disappeared. I now hold the cyclic with a light touch. Kick ass. Now the hand still hurts from a light grip, but nothing a day off after 3.0hrs of confined practice won't fix. Bring on the ice. ;)
Also, I hope I'm not giving anyone the impression I dont' like my instructor, because nothing could be further from the truth. I think he's awesome, and he's teaching me amazing things. Maybe next time when he asks me what I think I'll just turn it around on him...and ask him what HE thinks. ;) That might work. hehe.
Apparently I'm good at recon, and now my instructor had decided that it was time for me to make decisions in the bush.
So he was not going to tell me where to put down. At all. Let me figure it out for myself. Oh boy!
Day one wasn't so hot. I wasn't using my brain effectively and because of that I was just not able to see where I should be going. Well, I mean I know. Look for a flat type spot, try to hang your tail over water to avoid obstacles, have something in front of you to reference so the tall blowing swamp grass doesn't fuck with your head. Which it is want to do. Funny, you can tell the instant your eye wanders. From a stable low hover to landing to some sort of wobbling beast. So yeah, I do know how extremely important it is to have a tree or rock or anything there to focus on.
Day two was much better. I picked all my spots, and actually picked good ones. And I even showed some decision making when I was eying a spot for a little while, and then decided it was above my comfort level. And I'm glad I thought that, because he did too! So I meandered over to another spot next to the swamp and put down there. Much better. And seriously, these areas were small! My turn about the tail practice helped...cause that was all I could do in there. (mind you, not aggressive for his liking...but damn, I honestly do get a bit nervous in there) Find a safe place to put my tail, and keep it there until I found a place that looked like it would be sufficient to put down.
But holy shit, he had me in some tight places. The ones I have shown pictures of were probably 3 times the size. I'm not kidding. Barely enough room to turn around in there. Jebus.
And of course the whole time he is saying to me..."now this is the kind of place a 10 000 hour pilot would be working in."
Ok, so does that mean I'm doing ok then? Or is that just trying to make me feel better for sucking?
Because once again, I am left feeling slightly unsure about my progress.
Yesterday's debriefing went like this.
Him: So, what do you think?"
Me: Uhm..I had fun?
Him: So yeah, well I would not let you go into those places alone for sure.
Me: Uhm....(internal monologue: I suck! I fucking knew it!!!)
Him: but those other ones, the bigger ones, yeah, I'd probably send you in there alone with customers.
Me: (in my mind..."ok, maybe that's good?")
Him: so you were a little to close to some trees on that one approach.
Me: Yeah, I totally was aware of that, and you are right. (don't you hate it when you are in the process of correcting something, and they call you on it as you are about to fix it...so you can't really say "I was doing that!" cause well, you were just 'about' to....and I hate making excuses for myself anyway...but fuuuuuuuuuuck...LOL)
Him: but you picked some good spots, with the exception of that island you chose. (in one swamp there was this awesomely flat tiny bit of raised land, so I put down there...not thinking about any pax I'd have to let out...hehehe. That's a good thing to learn now, and not on the job. ;) )
Me: Yeah.....I totally get that...
Him: So yeah, great job!
So I guess good job then?
Mr. Dagny was trying to tell me that if I sucked then instructor man sure as shit would not have me going into those postage stamp sized areas. And yes, I suppose that is probably true. He also asked if I was getting control taken away from me...which he knows is not true. His logic is that if that was happening, that would mean I suck...and yes, that's true.
So after that, I decided I needed to shoot some ILS approaches on the sim for relaxation.
And yes, it did relax me. :D
My scan lives!! It really does. No problems at all. What a relief. Now if I can just get that MIFR ride out of the damn way.
Oh, and my hand, while not perfect is much better. Also, I noticed that even in tiny confined areas my death grip has disappeared. I now hold the cyclic with a light touch. Kick ass. Now the hand still hurts from a light grip, but nothing a day off after 3.0hrs of confined practice won't fix. Bring on the ice. ;)
Also, I hope I'm not giving anyone the impression I dont' like my instructor, because nothing could be further from the truth. I think he's awesome, and he's teaching me amazing things. Maybe next time when he asks me what I think I'll just turn it around on him...and ask him what HE thinks. ;) That might work. hehe.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Many Auto's
Today I was back into auto's on the jet ranger. I have done quite a few already, but today we were testing out the various rotor rpm/airspeed combo's, to SEE the difference. And I must say, there is quite a bit.
First, normal. 100% rpm and 60mph. Now we had a spot to compare with.
Second, 100% rpm and 80mph. Went a bit further on that one.
Next, <90%rpm (horn going off the whole time) and 80mph. Holy crap, did we ever travel on that one. If I need to make a spot far away, I'll be using that one.
Then, enter auto just prior to spot, and using 100% and 60mph and lots of yanking and banking (well, S turns...LOL) and rpm controlled with collective during turns. Made the spot.
Finally, the one that initially scared the pants off me. (well, not literally.. ;) ) The ZERO forward airspeed one. Enter auto over spot, collective down, and back on cyclic. Until you are no longer moving forward. I didn't like that much in the beginning. I have gone backwards in an airplane, but that was because there was an insane amount of wind at 3000' one day when I was in flight college. This is different. So yeah, got zero airspeed, and once the ground is around 400' away, nose down (and this was hard, because as a fixed wing pilot converting to rotary I have been training myself to pretty much NEVER push forward on the cyclic in any sort of forceful manner.) to gain airspeed, looking for 60, but you take what you can get. Then flare.
Anyway, that was today. Lots of that. For an hour.
I should have asked my instructor how I am doing. I really should have. But I hate to seem needy. I should not need someone to tell me if things are going well. (well, we all know I DO, but I dont' want to make a big deal out of it). But other than him telling me a few things I already knew (like watch rotor rpm like a freaking hawk when doing crazy ass S turns while performing an auto, I got that fixed on attempt number two. I should have nailed it on the first one...but I'll try to go easy on myself) he pretty much defaulted to the 'good job' option. I will just have to take his word for it.
So other instructors have been asking when I'll be ready for a flight test. I have told them I have no clue. But once they hear I am over 50 hours they seem to think that it will be sooner than later. Good thing I've started to hit the books so I know all the obscure crap about the jetranger. As a Sault College grad and having worked for other former Soo grads I am used to the most obscure shit. The more ridiculous, the better. Bring it on. ;)
My hand is still messed up. But better. I just have to take it easy, and not fly more than once a day right now, and for this week, only every other day. If I can't get it on the road to recovery, well then I'll be fucked. At least they understand that the whole situation is bumming me out completely, and all I want to do is fly. Hell, I'd fly 3 times a day if my hand would co operate. I know I can get it back to 100%...just a matter of when. And I can live with it as is...for now. I'd rather have it not cause me pain all the time for the rest of my life though, cause that would send me back to airplanes I figure....they don't hurt to fly. LOL. Not that I'd want to do that..I don't.
Anyway, life isn't coming to an end. I can still fly a helicopter. I seem to be able to think and fly simultaneously. Always a good combo. Back at it tomorrow if my hand is miraculously better, and Wednesday if not.
And soon I will have to hit the IFR books. Oh boy...it's been a while...I hope I still know how to fly on instruments.
First, normal. 100% rpm and 60mph. Now we had a spot to compare with.
Second, 100% rpm and 80mph. Went a bit further on that one.
Next, <90%rpm (horn going off the whole time) and 80mph. Holy crap, did we ever travel on that one. If I need to make a spot far away, I'll be using that one.
Then, enter auto just prior to spot, and using 100% and 60mph and lots of yanking and banking (well, S turns...LOL) and rpm controlled with collective during turns. Made the spot.
Finally, the one that initially scared the pants off me. (well, not literally.. ;) ) The ZERO forward airspeed one. Enter auto over spot, collective down, and back on cyclic. Until you are no longer moving forward. I didn't like that much in the beginning. I have gone backwards in an airplane, but that was because there was an insane amount of wind at 3000' one day when I was in flight college. This is different. So yeah, got zero airspeed, and once the ground is around 400' away, nose down (and this was hard, because as a fixed wing pilot converting to rotary I have been training myself to pretty much NEVER push forward on the cyclic in any sort of forceful manner.) to gain airspeed, looking for 60, but you take what you can get. Then flare.
Anyway, that was today. Lots of that. For an hour.
I should have asked my instructor how I am doing. I really should have. But I hate to seem needy. I should not need someone to tell me if things are going well. (well, we all know I DO, but I dont' want to make a big deal out of it). But other than him telling me a few things I already knew (like watch rotor rpm like a freaking hawk when doing crazy ass S turns while performing an auto, I got that fixed on attempt number two. I should have nailed it on the first one...but I'll try to go easy on myself) he pretty much defaulted to the 'good job' option. I will just have to take his word for it.
So other instructors have been asking when I'll be ready for a flight test. I have told them I have no clue. But once they hear I am over 50 hours they seem to think that it will be sooner than later. Good thing I've started to hit the books so I know all the obscure crap about the jetranger. As a Sault College grad and having worked for other former Soo grads I am used to the most obscure shit. The more ridiculous, the better. Bring it on. ;)
My hand is still messed up. But better. I just have to take it easy, and not fly more than once a day right now, and for this week, only every other day. If I can't get it on the road to recovery, well then I'll be fucked. At least they understand that the whole situation is bumming me out completely, and all I want to do is fly. Hell, I'd fly 3 times a day if my hand would co operate. I know I can get it back to 100%...just a matter of when. And I can live with it as is...for now. I'd rather have it not cause me pain all the time for the rest of my life though, cause that would send me back to airplanes I figure....they don't hurt to fly. LOL. Not that I'd want to do that..I don't.
Anyway, life isn't coming to an end. I can still fly a helicopter. I seem to be able to think and fly simultaneously. Always a good combo. Back at it tomorrow if my hand is miraculously better, and Wednesday if not.
And soon I will have to hit the IFR books. Oh boy...it's been a while...I hope I still know how to fly on instruments.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Crisis of confidance
Yeah. That is where I am at right now. Not a happy, or fun place. But one that I have visited before in my life.
I guess it's the inevitable plateau that occurs when learning a new thing. You get more skilled rapidly at the beginning...and then. Nothing. Less than nothing, in fact I feel like I have gone backwards. Regressing.
And I'm starting to wonder if I am cut out for this. Will I really be able to do this on my own in the field? Will I even get a job once I'm finished? Has this all been a waste of time? Can an old dog really learn new tricks? Or should the dog just go back to what the dog knows?
Because I can hear the airplanes calling to me. "come back to us" they say. "come back to where you belong. where you aren't incompetent, where you can do what is asked of you." "Come back, to where life is easy again....where you already have a bag of experience to draw from, to the place you belong." "Silly girl, why did you even think you could do this in the first place. Helicopters are for Real pilots, not tourists like yourself."
Yes, that is what my brain likes to say to me. Not always of course, or else I would have never left the ground in the first place. And, I am 100% positive that I have heard my brain say similar things to me regarding airplanes back in 1997. And I will never forget training for the MU2...boy, that really sent me for a loop. I was convinced I was the worlds worst pilot for a while there. And I know I ended up flying that machine just fine. But it's a hard thing to ignore some days, especially after a shitty flight where nothing goes right, and you are left feeling like you should set your licenses on fire to protect the rest of the world from you.
I know, I know deep down it's not that bad. I know that I am/was a good pilot. Ah...yes. There you go, it's the 'was' part that's eating away at me. Because while I know I WAS a good pilot until Aug 28, 2007...I don't know if that is still the case. (ETA: I had NO clue what today's date was when I wrote this. Funny this post should occur on the 2 year anniversary of my injury. The mind is a strange thing it would seem.....)
Maybe renewing my MIFR will remind me of who I was before. Because being the idiot student again for this long has started to get to me.
And, to be totally honest, I have no idea where I stand. Am I average? Below average? I need to know this. And for some reason I don't. I have a sinking suspicion that people are being overly nice to me because of my background. Like they feel bad giving me the shit I deserve after a flight maybe? Or maybe I'm doing ok and that is why I haven't gotten a lot of feedback. *cough* I highly doubt that one. I am with me when I go flying, so I know better.
*fucking turns about the tail...grumble...grumble...grumble.....*
So I guess I have to suck it up. But..while I don't think I want to be constantly be told how awesome I am....I do want to know where I stand. Because I have ridiculously high standards for myself. And right now I don't feel like I am anywhere near I should be. Reality? Or just me? I have no clue.
And I wish I did.
I guess it's the inevitable plateau that occurs when learning a new thing. You get more skilled rapidly at the beginning...and then. Nothing. Less than nothing, in fact I feel like I have gone backwards. Regressing.
And I'm starting to wonder if I am cut out for this. Will I really be able to do this on my own in the field? Will I even get a job once I'm finished? Has this all been a waste of time? Can an old dog really learn new tricks? Or should the dog just go back to what the dog knows?
Because I can hear the airplanes calling to me. "come back to us" they say. "come back to where you belong. where you aren't incompetent, where you can do what is asked of you." "Come back, to where life is easy again....where you already have a bag of experience to draw from, to the place you belong." "Silly girl, why did you even think you could do this in the first place. Helicopters are for Real pilots, not tourists like yourself."
Yes, that is what my brain likes to say to me. Not always of course, or else I would have never left the ground in the first place. And, I am 100% positive that I have heard my brain say similar things to me regarding airplanes back in 1997. And I will never forget training for the MU2...boy, that really sent me for a loop. I was convinced I was the worlds worst pilot for a while there. And I know I ended up flying that machine just fine. But it's a hard thing to ignore some days, especially after a shitty flight where nothing goes right, and you are left feeling like you should set your licenses on fire to protect the rest of the world from you.
I know, I know deep down it's not that bad. I know that I am/was a good pilot. Ah...yes. There you go, it's the 'was' part that's eating away at me. Because while I know I WAS a good pilot until Aug 28, 2007...I don't know if that is still the case. (ETA: I had NO clue what today's date was when I wrote this. Funny this post should occur on the 2 year anniversary of my injury. The mind is a strange thing it would seem.....)
Maybe renewing my MIFR will remind me of who I was before. Because being the idiot student again for this long has started to get to me.
And, to be totally honest, I have no idea where I stand. Am I average? Below average? I need to know this. And for some reason I don't. I have a sinking suspicion that people are being overly nice to me because of my background. Like they feel bad giving me the shit I deserve after a flight maybe? Or maybe I'm doing ok and that is why I haven't gotten a lot of feedback. *cough* I highly doubt that one. I am with me when I go flying, so I know better.
*fucking turns about the tail...grumble...grumble...grumble.....*
So I guess I have to suck it up. But..while I don't think I want to be constantly be told how awesome I am....I do want to know where I stand. Because I have ridiculously high standards for myself. And right now I don't feel like I am anywhere near I should be. Reality? Or just me? I have no clue.
And I wish I did.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Yikes.
TAF AMD CYYB 202213Z 2022/2108 10015KT 6SM -RA BR FEW008 BKN025 TEMPO
2022/2023 VRB35G50KT 1SM +FC +TSGRRA BR BKN005 OVC010CB
FM202300 14008KT 6SM -RA BR SCT003 OVC012 TEMPO 2023/2108 2SM
SHRA BR OVC003 PROB30 2023/2101 VRB20G30KT 2SM +TSRA BR BKN003
OVC010CB
RMK NXT FCST BY 210200Z=
Glad I'm not there atm I'd say.
2022/2023 VRB35G50KT 1SM +FC +TSGRRA BR BKN005 OVC010CB
FM202300 14008KT 6SM -RA BR SCT003 OVC012 TEMPO 2023/2108 2SM
SHRA BR OVC003 PROB30 2023/2101 VRB20G30KT 2SM +TSRA BR BKN003
OVC010CB
RMK NXT FCST BY 210200Z=
Glad I'm not there atm I'd say.
Tendonitis
In my stupid hand.
From my early death grip on the cyclic (and the fact I broke all 4 fingers on my right hand in highschool and took my own cast off early thinking I knew more than the dr's...and discovering I was wrong when it was too late. heh), which hasn't had time to heal so keeps getting worse just from keeping a light grip (when I can, can anyone have a LIGHT grip in the hover? Seriously, I just dont' see how it's possible...but maybe I'm just in a bad habit now, probably reality) on the cyclic. Repetitive stress injury anyone? ARGH.
I feel like an idiot. Seriously.
Guess I should talk to my SIL about it since she is a Physical Therapist. Once the pain is tolerable I can figure out what exercises I need to do to make sure this never, ever happens again.
So for now I have a brace on my silly hand and I am taking a few days off and see if I can get this back to somewhat normal. *sigh*.
Oh well, at least this gives me time to know the jetranger manual inside and out, cause I'm going to be doing my ride in that one. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. ;)
//off to ice hand. :$
From my early death grip on the cyclic (and the fact I broke all 4 fingers on my right hand in highschool and took my own cast off early thinking I knew more than the dr's...and discovering I was wrong when it was too late. heh), which hasn't had time to heal so keeps getting worse just from keeping a light grip (when I can, can anyone have a LIGHT grip in the hover? Seriously, I just dont' see how it's possible...but maybe I'm just in a bad habit now, probably reality) on the cyclic. Repetitive stress injury anyone? ARGH.
I feel like an idiot. Seriously.
Guess I should talk to my SIL about it since she is a Physical Therapist. Once the pain is tolerable I can figure out what exercises I need to do to make sure this never, ever happens again.
So for now I have a brace on my silly hand and I am taking a few days off and see if I can get this back to somewhat normal. *sigh*.
Oh well, at least this gives me time to know the jetranger manual inside and out, cause I'm going to be doing my ride in that one. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet. ;)
//off to ice hand. :$
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